This week my manager announced that one of our senior employees is not returning to work after her maternity leave because she decided to be a stay at home mom. To be honest I don’t even know what that means.
I feel about stay at home moms the same way I feel about homeless people. I think they are just lazy people who choose to rely on someone else instead of working for life’s luxuries themselves. It actually makes me extremely mad to think that I am out hustling and working five jobs (I have a day job as a social media consultant and freelance on the side as a personal finance writer) while others just sit at home and watch TV all day. Or is that just a misconception?
I would like to think that stay at home moms are not sitting on the couch all day eating snacks while their husbands are out working their butts off. I would like to think that “stay at home mom” is another term for “working from home”, but I don’t think that’s true. So I did whatever any sensible person does when they don’t know something, I asked.
I sat down with my former co-worker and asked why she decided to be a stay at home mom instead of going out to grind and hustle in the workforce like the rest of us.
Why would you want to stay at home all day?
When I asked my ex co-worker this obvious question she said “If I had to choose between going to work and staying at home to raise my kid, I would choose to raise my child.” Although I understand what she’s saying it seems like a totally bogus answer.
I don’t have children nor am I a stay at home anything I believe in street smarts and the importance of social activities for a child’s development. If her child is stuck at home with his mother all day isn’t he going to grow up to be extremely dependent and what is the child missing out on by not being properly socialized in daycare and kindergarten?
What about the loss of income?
Then there’s the fiscal aspect of only having one spouse working. When I asked my co-worker how she can afford to feed a family of three on one income she said “My husband makes enough money for us to get by.” My first thought was who just wants to get by? It seems like a ridiculous answer, especially for someone who now has a child. Don’t parents always want their children “to have more than I did”?
Even if your husband or wife makes enough, what does that even mean? Can we ever have enough money? My answer is NO. We can always have more money. Making more money means we can do more things, travel to more places and have more experiences.
Don’t you feel useless?
I’m not really one of those people who likes to lay around and do nothing, especially if I feel I should be working. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy a good vacation and a long weekend but it doesn’t mean I would like to do it all the time.
Being a stay at home mom is not my choice of lifestyle and I don’t ever think BF would expect me to stay at home all day if we ever had a child. If he did it would be a clear sign that we were not meant to be together.