It’s been said that money can harm your relationship. I honestly believe that’s true, but only if you let it. BF and I have lived through a financial rollercoaster: we met as broke teenagers, graduated into two full time jobs, almost lost everything (including my job) during the market crash and spent years rebuilding our life, relationship and our financial wellbeing.
I know that everything we’ve been through made me the strong, financially responsible person I am today. So I have no regrets. However, I wouldn’t want to go through it again. I especially wouldn’t want to go through it with a new relationship. BF and I already had several years invested in our relationship when the money troubles started and we chose not to let our financial struggles ruin our relationship – and neither should you.
Don’t let these money struggles put a strain on your relationship, all you need to do is work through them.
Too much debt
Having debt can be stressful, but it doesn’t have to put a huge strain on your relationship. The one thing people seem to forget is that is temporary.
Do what you need to do to start making payments and become debt free, that could be getting a second job or cutting your living expenses. Do whatever it takes, trust me the temporary hard work is better than the long term stress of having debt.
The last thing you want to do is start your happily ever after with a lot of debt from a wedding that you can’t afford. Do you really want to start your life as a couple by coming home every night to “We should have just ordered the chicken” or “Couldn’t we have purchased less flowers”? I don’t think so.
Plan a realistic wedding that you can afford. This may mean prolonging the big day so you can save up some extra cash or cutting back on some lavish expenses such as making your own wedding invitations and centerpieces or choosing the second best venue.
Keeping money secrets
It’s no secret that when you don’t have open communication your relationship will suffer and this is especially true when it comes to money. Don’t be mad at your spouse for not being open with you. Ask yourself why it’s happening. Why aren’t they comfortable talking to you about money? Maybe it’s because they’re ashamed, but maybe it’s because you’re a little scary when it comes to having the money talk.
Ignoring your problems
The worst thing you can do in a relationship when it comes to money is ignoring that fact that there is a problem. This is true whether you’re single or in a relationship. Ignoring the problem isn’t helping fix it.
One of the great things about being married is you have a partner to rely on in sickness and in health and for richer or poorer. If you feel things are getting out of control with your spending and debt talk to your partner and ask for help. The conversation may be uncomfortable, but it will be better for your relationship in the long run.